The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
