We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
