I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
