you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
