Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize