I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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