pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
