none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
