Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
