Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We have started to decorate penises.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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