stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
not ubering you a puppy
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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