I can text with my tongue
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
