I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
false alarm. still invincible.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
