420 ftw
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
