Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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