how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize