And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
