im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize