the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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