You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
