I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
