So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
