I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
