So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize