he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just google imaged poop.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
