he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
