wrigley field is MILF paradise
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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