forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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