i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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