just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
