omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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