so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
