Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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