Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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