The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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