Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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