i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
