maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize