I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
