Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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