He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
