What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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