More tranny stories later!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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