in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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