Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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