Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize