Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
