I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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