I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
