I feel great
I just peed on a car
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
