Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
