yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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