I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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