someone get that fucking seahorse.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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