so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
