this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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