sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
