She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
