last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
