Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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