If i come over, it means nothing
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
