I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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