I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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