The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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