It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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